What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

What's the difference between a girl's track team and a village of pygmies?

One's a bunch of cunning runts.....

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?

Mourning Wood

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding