me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding
None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.
I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...
They combined for 16 paws.
He turns off his Xbox and goes back to bed.
I hate tons of stuff.
You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.
A balaclava.
Guac-A-Mole.
A: Down in the mouth!
Because they're dead.
At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.
Because they cantaloupe.
