What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between arguing with a girl and arguing with a knife?

The knife has a point

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is your January report card so bad ?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry :)

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month.

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.