What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?

Paul Walker only crashed once.

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick?

You should know more than your dog.

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How long have I got?

Not long. Two, three months" casually places apple on desk "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"

How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

What an Idiot.