What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one?

An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.

What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?

You can't milk a cow for 2000 years

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How is a man like a snowstorm?

A: You never know when he's coming how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Why do people call the deceased "late"?

They aren't late.. They aren't coming.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why are birds always sad in the morning?

Their bills are over dew

When last did you get lit?

Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Patty