What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store?

Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!

How do you know the Alphabet is celebrating Christmas?

When there is no "L" ("Noel")

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's a funny non-racist joke a Polish person would laugh at?

Just trying to make a Polish girl I like laugh

What would you call the Islamic State if they tried to take over Antarctica?

Ice-is I'll show myself out.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

What do you call girls that have a chance of winning?

Chicken Tenders.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?

A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

Contest Jokes More Contest Jokes

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.