What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

What's red and goes "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?

Santa walking backwards.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why do sandwiches never have kids?

Because they always turn out in-bread.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Why did Jill fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do a brick and I have in common?

We both get laid by hand.

How do black people tan?

Holding their hands up

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days