Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Whats the difference between a retard and a woman?

The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special.

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How are the Seahawks and my girlfriend similar?

they both can get 16 shoved down their throat without choking

What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget?

My girlfriend

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why do you fight using only your feet?

Oh, y'know. For kicks.

Why were the pirates on the ship fighting?

They needed better anchor management.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Who directed this?

HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

Prettiest Jokes More Prettiest Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "