Why am I not asleep?

he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Why did the Seven Dwarves fire Snow White as their Foreman at the mine?

They thought she was micromanaging them!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What do you do if someone's choking?

Pull back a few inches

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

Shine Jokes More Shine Jokes

How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright?

Shine a torch in her ear!

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Beam Jokes More Beam Jokes

What do you want?

The beam replies: "Oh, just give me a moment."

What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him?

Get bent!