How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?

me stops jumping: You would have said no

Why use 2 A's in the name Aaron?

Why not 17 What's stopping us

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

Hit him in the face with an axe

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Why did the boy drop his icecream?

He was hit by a truck.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why are you going through my phone?

BF: 'Do you have something to hide ' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'

How did people charge their phones before electricity?

They didn't...!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye?

A snooker table

Fight Club Jokes More Fight Club Jokes

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"