Why are your nails painted two differen...

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask )

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

Howdo you stop a baby from running in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a one foot tall man painting the side of a house?

Answer: On a quantum level, there is no difference.

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Who lives in the green house?

Me: I don't know Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house? Me: The red guy Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house? Me: The blue guy Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house? Me: The yellow guy Her: Who lives in the white house? Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out: The black guy!!

Why isn't anyone afraid of China?

Because everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. Heard from a friend today. :)

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

Different Color Jokes More Different Color Jokes

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own?

A hue man.