What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

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What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

What's the first sign of football in the bible?

Jesus going up for the cross!

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Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

What do wives and shingles have in common?

if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

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What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.