What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

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Why is Jesus terrible at hockey?

He keeps getting pinned to the boards.

What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

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How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies?

He only got nailed once

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

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Why did jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.