Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?

To stop it from falling out.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did Chris Brown stop having long-term relationships?

He wanted 2 hit singles

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction?

Because it was a-peeling on the Eye.

What did the horse say when he fell over?

Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What did the number 1 say to (pi)?

Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?

To stop it from falling out.

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.