Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

What kind of bird does 2 Chainz own?

Toucan

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference?

I told him "It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..." "..and Derek has a moustache"

Why couldn't the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano?

Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her.

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Why was the cotton candy singing?

Grandma, hush, that's Nicki Minaj

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How do you get whole race to hate you?

Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet?

Ben/Anna!