Grandma Jokes

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells.

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Who is your Grandma's favorite politician?

Bernie Sandmaster Flash

What did Grandma say to the frog?

Something racist, probably.

What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house?

Alzheimer, Grandma.

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting?

Gee U Knit!"

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

What happens when you put your grandma on speedial?

You get Insta-Gram

Why was the cotton candy singing?

Grandma, hush, that's Nicki Minaj

What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed?

Keep it up!

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxer shorts?

Your grandma.

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.

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Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What did Rihanna say to her grandma with Alzheimer's?

Oh na na, what's my name

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas?

Gee, you knit

Why is that cotton candy talking?

Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj.

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

Why do we have 52,455,865 pictures of Grandma?

my future grandchildren probably

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence?

I'm udderly ruined!" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to

When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts Grandma?

Grandma: Yes I do. Mary: Well you can have mine.

What's pink and wrinkled and hangs out your undies?

Your grandma.

How old is your Grandma?

I dunno but we've had him a long time.

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

What is it Johnny?

Does Grandma know anything about car mechanics " "No, why " "She's outside, under a bus"

What do you call your grandma on speed dial?

Instragram!

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Rhino Jokes More Rhino Jokes

What do you get when you mix a rhino with an elephant?

Eliphino

What do you call a cross between a hippo, an elephant and a rhino?

Hell if I know

Crust Jokes More Crust Jokes

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust."

What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

They both work with crust.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call an "Asian" that loves using moisturizer?

Laotian.

What does Leia say when she needs help?

I think I could use a Han here.

Nicki Minaj Jokes More Nicki Minaj Jokes

What do Nicki Minaj and Santa have in common?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common?

Reclaiming black bodies.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do need it at work?

It's all I do. "WHAT " I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt?

A Terra Bite

50 Cent Jokes More 50 Cent Jokes

Why couldn't G Unit get on the Bus?

They did not have 50 Cent.

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

Apologise Jokes More Apologise Jokes

How do boats apologise?

S ry!

Where's the best place to apologise to someone?

Surrey.

Alzheimer Jokes More Alzheimer Jokes

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You meet new people every day.

How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the otherside!