What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the kid fall out of the tree?

I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure

Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?

It must have fallen through a crack.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How can you make a moth ball ?

Hit it with a fly swatter.

How many Mexicans does it take to wax a car?

1 if you hit him just right

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What does 007 wear on his head?

A Bondana.

What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

What did Grandma say to the frog?

Something racist, probably.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What is it called when two birds kiss?

A Peck.

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What did the can say to the can opener?

A: You make me flip my lid.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.