Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

She refused to swallow animal by-products.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse?

Because she was looking for a stable relationship.

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

She swallowed

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

She refused to swallow animal by-products.

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

Product Jokes More Product Jokes

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

What products do you use for grooming?

she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich