Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

Why are there no good jokes about engineers?

zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline.

Why do engineers mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31=DEC 25

Mattress Jokes More Mattress Jokes

Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.