Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What do you call a lizard on drugs?

A mariguana.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What do you call a Mexican that won't get on a scale?

A no weigh Jose.

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Why are all early birds Catholics?

Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

How do you weigh a whale?

On Whale Weigh Scales.

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...