Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS :(

Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

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How do your organize a space party?

You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

Why's it so hard for blind people to commit crimes?

Because they can't see.

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How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body?

Rigatoni!