Why did the pope have so many children?

Because his condom was a little holy...

This joke may have profanity.

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How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

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How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

What do you call a condom within a condom?

Contraception.

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Why does the Pope shower with his briefs on?

He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.

What's the difference between a pontiff's chin and the kitchen sink?

One's covered in soap bubbles, while the other's covered in Pope stubbles.