Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?

An icebreaker

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

Who teaches you how to fart?

A tutor :)

What do you call two Egyptians who've farted at the same time?

Tutankhamun.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine?

To cover up his bald spot.

Why do Arabs only buy Chevy Trucks?

Because they're like Iraq.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How many Germans does it take to tile a bathroom?

Only one, if you cut him thin enough.

How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".

7 Jokes More 7 Jokes

What do you call a 7' 2" fortune teller in his underpants?

A large medium in smalls.

Why don't jokes in base 8 work?

Because 7 10 11

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What did the banana say to the orange?

Fruit can't talk

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!