Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do they never serve a beer at math party?

Because you can't drink and derive

What do teenage terrorists drink?

Smirnoff ISIS

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How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

Why would a dead girl lie?

Because she can't stand up.

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What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.

What's the difference between a sperm and a racist?

A sperm as a 1 in a million chance of actually becoming a human being.

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What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit?

Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.

Skim Milk Jokes More Skim Milk Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

What do you call paddling down a river of skim milk?

white water rafting.