Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

What gun does Jesus hate the most?

The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

What do Apple and Blackberry have in common?

Neither one has Jobs.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.