Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

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Snowden Jokes More Snowden Jokes

Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ?

Tsardines !

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

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What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.