Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What does a tornado and a woman have in common?

It starts with a little blowing but at the end your house is gone

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What are sardines?

A little fish that smells like fingers.

What do you call it when you finger a pony?

Feeling a little horse.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce