When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When Geese fly in a "V" formation, do you know why one side of the "V" is longer?

There's more geese on that side.

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute "

How many women have you slept with?

she asked. I said, "Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten " "Oh, I say. Go on then." she laughed. I said, "0."

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish?

A couple of weeks

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left! Bwahahahahaha

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How do you feel?

Asks the fluoride ion. "Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied.

What's up, punk?

Nothing," he replied, "I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."

Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

What's the difference between former House Speakers Hastert and Pelosi?

Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

Why doesn't Oedipus swear?

Because he kisses his mum with that mouth.