Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?

Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

What do call you someone who feeds on comatose patients and pizza?

A vegetarian.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen?

There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn.

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!