Why isn't Edward leaving Russia?

because he's snowed in.

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Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What did Elmo take before he left the tickle factory?

Two test tickles

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Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia?

A puppy.

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What do you call a hacker who stays home when it snows outside?

Edward Snowed-in!

Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house?

He's snowed in.

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Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.