Why would he put that on a resume?

Oh. My. God. You're hired."

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God Jokes More God Jokes

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

What does God do whenever he gets frustrated with Jesus?

He gets out the Bible Belt!

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things