Bernie Madoff Jokes

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

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What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

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Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions?

Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How can you tell a redneck has got money?

He gems out his dip cup

Where do snowmen keep their money ?

In a snowbank !

Atom Jokes More Atom Jokes

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.