Insurance Company Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What did the insurance company say to the applicant?

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

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Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

What do you get when you mix an octopus with a black guy?

Idk but it sure as hell can pick cotton

M Jokes More M Jokes

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

How do you know an engineer is an extrovert?

He stares at shoes while he talks to you.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish in orbit?

Trouterspace.

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Change it to what

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What did the engineer say to the flood?

Dam!

Why are Dutch people so tall?

The short ones drowned in the floods

Attorney Jokes More Attorney Jokes

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

What does an attorney wear to work?

A: A law suit.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

What is the hardest part about firing a black man?

Waiting for him to show up.