Because m = AIt
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
Im here for the boos.
Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)
A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!
Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.
because im a black man you racist
A: Miscarriage This joke never gets old, just like the baby.
An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3
He forgot to cover his tracks! im
Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal
Because he was salty
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Im hard
Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry
Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.
A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry -)
How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.
Honestly Im not sure, they havent got back to me yet. It's been 3 weeks.
Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.
Miscarriage
Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.
Im Stoned :p
Durian durian! im sorry
Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)
Oscar im so sorry
An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?
Im a fungi
By the "M" on his pajamas.
They're not infallible
Luke warm. im sorry
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'
H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!
BRB man, I've got to catch a plane. Im soz.
ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.
G ...get it EDIT:im not saying the reference
Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!
Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly
M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt.
You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!
Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*
6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no
A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.
M: Protesting this conversation.
You call 'im Maury. :)
Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash
Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife
ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt
ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.
roll playing im sry
Mexicans.
M: Linda.
Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion.
There is no dirt in the hole!
Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok.
The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."
Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.
They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)
Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.
I guess it's too grue-some.
Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.
M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody
The telephone rang while she was ironing.
He touched the beaker before it was cool.
I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."
Rain Quotes
A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
Me: Wanna buy my book Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand.
Time to get it fixed.
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
mod post from r/AntiJokes) I wouldn't know, as a mime I cannot comment.
Because it's always ten-to-cool time...
because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.
Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"
A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.
V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.
A baby hit by a snow blower
spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.
