What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Which candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

How do you tell the time in the US?

By looking at a bomb

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Whats the complement to a 40 degree angle?

My you're looking "acute" today.

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

M Jokes More M Jokes

Whats the best part of living in Switzerland?

Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.

Where is your unicorn?

Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

What is an umbrella doing in the shower?

Practicing

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What's the Pope iTunes play-list name?

Pray-list.

W Jokes More W Jokes

What do you call a word with two W's and one K?

Awkward.

How do you make a witch scratch?

Remove the w