What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why is today a trucker's favorite day?

Cuz it's 10-4 GOOD BUDDY!!!

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why am I just so naturally funny?

Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

Why shouldn't you shower with a Pokemon?

It might Pikachu.

Itune Jokes More Itune Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

W Jokes More W Jokes

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.