What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible?

He wasn't single.

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Who doesn't like a hot date?

A necrophiliac.

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

He knows a little ham goes a long way.

What do Chinese bears use to cook?

A pan. Duh!

M Jokes More M Jokes

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What if a man existed w/one hand that's a steak and the other is lobster plus unlimited salad bar?

This is the plot of Edward Sizzlerhands

What do you call a cow with one leg?

Steak.