What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

Why did the cannibal stab the chef with a toothpick?

To see if he was done cooking.

What do you call a delicacy made by stripping the skin off of a Native American and cooking it?

A Sioux Flay

M Jokes More M Jokes

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

How do tennis players prefer their steak?

Wimbledon and nicely served.

Why didn't the cow want to go skydiving?

the steaks were too high.