What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat ...

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman?

They are both crustaceans.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?

With Santa it is only three hoes and he's done.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

How many successive 'ands' can you fit into a sentence with it still making sense?

The landlord at The Dog And Duck pub needed a new sign to hang above the door, so he contacted his signwriter. The signwriter arrived a week later with the new sign, hung it above the door, and asked the landlord what he thought. The landlord replied with, "I like it. However, I do feel that there should be bigger spaces between ' ' and ' ', and ' ' and ' '".