What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

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Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

When he grow up, he will ask me, "Dad, did you name me after a planet?

And i will be like, "No:("

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How often do lesbian gypsies get their hands read?

Every 28 days or so.

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What did the pedophiliac rabbi say to the young boy?

Hey there little boy, you wanna BUY some candy?

What's the best thing about having Parkinson's?

Never having to buy another electric toothbrush.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

Why was 9 afraid of 10?

Because 10 11 12.

What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower?

10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie?

People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why did the stair railing give money to Beethoven?

A bannister always pays his deafs.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

M Jokes More M Jokes

How many mm3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m?

There is no dirt in the hole!

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.