How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

Why wasn't the bike starting?

Because it was 'two-tyred'.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

How many people work in the Lada factory?

Two. One to cut and one to glue

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the Priest go to Walmart?

Because the little boys pants were half off.

What do you call a half-length lightsabre?

A slightsabre

Emit Jokes More Emit Jokes

What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food?

Frito Layser.

What sound is emitted by a drowning mathematician?

log log log log log log log log log...

Lawn Mower Jokes More Lawn Mower Jokes

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Half Time Jokes More Half Time Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show