What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did Descartes say while shopping online?

I think therefore I Amazon

Why are pot heads always so condescending?

They always think they're higher then others

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Who says building a border wall wont work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still dont have any Mexicans.

Where is Victoria working now?

In the kitchen.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you make a woman drive in a circle?

Take away her rights.

Why shouldn't you post to Reddit while driving?

becau

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy?

Ted can swim away from an accident.

Brake Jokes More Brake Jokes

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?

RIP my E-brake

Rush Jokes More Rush Jokes

How do the Russians invade the Ukraine?

They rush in.

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

Intersection Jokes More Intersection Jokes

What does a traffic cop do when he wins some money?

Buys an intersection for a private business work.

How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?

If you're a white man, you're free to walk.