Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

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Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

What is the most obvious caretaker?

It's a parent.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.

What should it sound like when it's connecting?

guy in the back stands up confidently Pterodactyls

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh?

A school bus full of black people driving off a cliff

F1 Driver Jokes More F1 Driver Jokes

Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

What's the difference between cab drivers and F1 drivers?

F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver

Janet Reno Jokes More Janet Reno Jokes

What is cold, grey, and ugly?

Me after I take all the Nyquil and die. Also, Janet Reno.

What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver?

A: The bus driver stops to let the kids out.

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

Why does it always seem like models' hair is blowing in the wind?

They have big fans.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

This is not a drill!"

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?

D--Dos

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!