Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?

Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?

A.It's cloged up with paper plates.

Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

What do you call a lot of cactus?

A cac-ton

What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'?

Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys, i'll let myself out...

Haulin ' Oats Jokes More Haulin ' Oats Jokes

Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's?

Q:Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's? A: Because they are Haulin' Oats!

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

He was tired of Haulin' Oats

Audi Jokes More Audi Jokes

Whats the difference between an Audi and a porcupine?

With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside

What did the cowboy say as he walked into a German car garage?

Audi

Drunk Driver Jokes More Drunk Driver Jokes

What's the difference between a high and drunk driver?

The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do we hit things when they don't work?

Because it worked with slavery

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)