How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What to do when the black guy in front of you gets shot?

Stop laughing and reload.

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

because Happy Hour ended.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

Yard Jokes More Yard Jokes

What's the range of an accordion?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What's the difference between one yard and two yards?

A: A fence.

Molest Jokes More Molest Jokes

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony?

He was feeling a little horse.

Neighbour Jokes More Neighbour Jokes

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

What do you call the horse than lives next door?

A neighbour!