Yard Jokes

How many feet are in a yard?

4 if you have a dog.

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Who do you call about stray cats walking around your yard?

Brian Setzer

What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

What animal brings the most boys to the yard?

The

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What's the difference between one yard and two yards?

A: A fence.

What flavor is the milkshake?

How far away is the yard How could you know its better than mine You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

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How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

What's the range of an accordion?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What is the range of a tuba?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard?

Hang one in the front!

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard."

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Bark Jokes More Bark Jokes

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ?

His bark was much worse than it's bite !

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

How do you get a Catholic nun pregnant?

Dress her as a choirboy

Ford Jokes More Ford Jokes

What do you call a ford on top of a hill?

A lie

Why are Ford cars so popular?

Because they are affordable.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What do you call a crocodile when it robs drinks?

Gator-raid. &lt3 edit: Learned the difference between a crocodile and alligator.

What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

Super Bowl Jokes More Super Bowl Jokes

What do you call the 1 yard line at the Super Bowl?

A running play - Obviously...

What did Superman get at the supermarket?

A Super Bowl

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair?

You flip it upside down.

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any kind, buildings can't jump.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the PI detective cross the road?

He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.

What does Delia Smith say when she wants to fight a road?

Let's be avenue.'