How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is the name of your Russian coworker you see the next day?

C. U. Tomorov

How was your day, Daddy?

Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS! !

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do women and linoleum have in common?

If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.

What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

What do they leave on your pillow at a bordello in Dijon, France?

Condom-Mints

Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.