How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards.

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

A: Leave it to peave her.

When is a parent like a child?

When he's a miner.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

Why did the pimp cross the lawn?

To get to the hoes.

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...?

Mowed 'em.

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.