Lawn Jokes

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

How do you drive a Unitarian out of town?

Burn a question mark on their front lawn.

What's Irish and sits on your lawn?

paddy o' furniture

How do you get the political science grad off your lawn?

Pay for the pizza

Why did the pimp cross the lawn?

To get to the hoes.

Why did the man put a dead tiger on his lawn?

To scare off Cat burglars!

What do you call an Irishman who slept out on the lawn all night?

Patty-OFurniture

What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn?

Your lawn won't cut itself.

What do pink flamingos have on their front lawns?

Plastic Italians.

What is the name of an Irish girl who hangs out on your lawn?

Patti O'Furniture

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What is the thing called that irrigates your lawn?

A garden Jose.

What will fall on the lawn first?

An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?

A Moles Royce.

How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?

Paint an endzone on it.

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight