How many people does it take to screw in a light?

Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when Santa Claus is nearby ?

You can feel his presents ...

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!

How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him?

Get bent!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why aren't these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge?

Don't they want to get better

Why can't people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long?

The can't handle stares.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car?

The bear maximum

How do you fit 10 Amish in a VW Beetle?

A:Tell them you are going to the livestock auction