How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?

She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

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How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote 'em off the ladder.

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.

Fife Jokes More Fife Jokes

Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?

A: The other replies "That was no piccolo that was my fife."

How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife