How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they prefer the dark.

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Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?

Coagulations!

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.