How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium molecules?

2 na

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

Where did the pregnant T-Rex go for a check-up?

The dinocologist

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse?

Meals on wheels...

What meal was given out to the survivors of the Chernobyl accident?

Fission chips.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why won't Hillary ever pull out?

She's never finished screwing people.

What's the difference between me and a dentist?

The dentist pulls it out when it hurts.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What type of phones do fish use?

Shellular*, of course...

How does a cheerleader answer the phone?

H-E-L-L-O!

Dunno Jokes More Dunno Jokes

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye