What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?

Dates!

What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son."

What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?

One of them got shot for touching a kid.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer