What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells. Credit: Christmas cracker.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who's there ! Census ! Census who ?

Census presents for Christmas !

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?

The turkey - he's always stuffed !

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils?

She was cross eyed.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A: A horse and rider.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Christmas Cracker Jokes More Christmas Cracker Jokes

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells. Credit: Christmas cracker.

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved. Christmas crackers are the worst.